by Nick England
It’d just take one trip out tuh Magnolia, Arkansas tuh be sure thur wadn’t a finer group of young men this side of the Mason/Dixon. However, me and my partner in crime, Jason, scurried out there quicker than jackrabbit on a hot date. I tell you what, in the time it takes tuh drive out thur, you coulda saddled a kangaroo who had a strong cup ‘a coffee. But that didn’t stop two fellers the likes of us. We was awful hungry by time we made it out thur, thinkin we was fixin’ tuh eat at the Mule’s Cantina, that wadn’t to be. Ya see, in a town the size ‘a Magnolia, everbody shuts down on Sunday tuh take care ‘a unfinished business out in the pasture and tend tuh their families. Not to worry, we had the Pizza Hut fur a backup. So Jason and I checked in tuh our room fur the night. We was welcomed by a pretty little lady behind the counter there who had heard somethin of us blowin through town. We told her our business and she said she was happy as a tick on a fat dog we was here. Right after we dropped our things in the room, we drove over to the Pizza Hut tuh meet the guys. We had us a mighty fine dinner that night. Jason and I split a dinner fur three – salad, breadsticks, and a pizza with all ‘a the fixins. Uh course, Jason couldn’t finish his side uh the pizza, so I had tuh eat mosta his share too. Nothin wrong with that seein as I get hungrier than a hog on a diet. Now after we done finished up our meal, we headed over to the Wesley tuh play a little game known in these parts as Jungle Pool. It wadn’t but four months ago I showed these young whippersnappers how tuh play such a game. I tell you somethin, butter my butt and call me Biscuit ’cause they got good. This time we was playing, they right ganged up on me like Dale Earnhardt Jr. walkin through a Piggly Wiggly. So I had tuh up my game a little, meanin I was puttin’ heat on the pool table that’d fry the grissle offa chicken. Then after a few games, we figured the cows had about come home, so we turned in fur the night.
Next day, I woke up rearin’ tuh go. I had meetins with each officer that day. I sure was happy tuh catch up with each of them, it just dilled my pickle. You know, evertime I head out there, it ends up rainin’ so much the cats go swimmin’. So it sure was nice to stay inside fur my meetins. We met in the ABS or the Association ‘a Baptist Students, a fine little ‘stablishment right off campus. Fur lunch that day, we went to the Flyin’ Burger, which I thought’d be quite a sight, thinkin’ we’d have to arm ourselves with a 12 gauge and go burger huntin’. On the other hand, it turned out tuh be a right tasty burger. Them beef idn’t frozen er nothin, they cook it fresh right there in fronta ya. The fries is good too, and just as fresh. I reckon I’d wash it down with tall glass ‘a sweet tea. From there I went back to my meetins with the rest ‘a the officers. Then Alan, their pledge cap’n drove me over tuh the hotel. I had tuh go straight from there to freshen up fur the ‘nitiation of the foundin fathers. We had a nice supper, this time at the Mule’s Cantina, which is funny ’cause when that waitress saw the whole comp’ny of us walk in, she looked ’bout as happy as mule chewin on bumblebees. But these boys clean up up mighty fine, I’d say they was slicker than snot on a doorknob. I had the casa’dillers fur supper while most everbody else ordered the chicken fried steak. It was mighty good though. After that, we headed over to the church we was having the chapter meeting and ‘nitiation at. ‘Fore it all started up, me and Jason had a little meetin with the officers ’bout rush week and what not. It was some downright good conversation right before chapter meetin. What was happenin after that, these fellers was dreadin’. But we reckoned it was time to pass out the pledge test. Now, they had a good bit a time studying for it, and fur the most part, they did purdy good! But I tell you, some ‘a them was a different story. If they had leather fur brains, they’d have just enuff to saddle a junebug. But that’s ancient history now, ’cause they all passed and me and Jason had the pleasure of ‘nitiatin ’em. You shoulda seen the look on their faces afterwards. They was happier than a fat boy with two turkey legs at the county fair. But it was time to turn in. I guess you could say we was busier than a one armed man at a butt slappin’ contest that day.
Next day, we met up at the McDonald’s fur some breakfast. It had been such a nice trip, me and Jason was sorry tuh leave. And if you mosey on takin’ anything from this little blog here, there’s one thing you oughta know. The men startin the BYX chapter at Southern Arkansas University are a mighty fine group ‘a men. And personally, I couldna been more proud of them startin the Alpha Delta chapter of Brothers Under Christ.